Monday, July 22, 2013

Pulling Myself Back

It’s been years now since that moment. It took everything I had to pull myself back together. I thought this time around I’m so much stronger. Bullet-proof. Ready for the storm, ready for the hurricanes, ready for tsunami, ready for anything that can make World Trade Center down. 

But I’m wrong. I’m not as strong as I think I am. On the contrary, I became fluffier. Softer. Weaker. Oh, What love can do?

Have you ever been to that phase where the one you love isn’t willing to love you back? Have you ever been to that phase when you are willing to give everything or trade anything in this world for God to like work his magic and make you and this certain person meant to be together forever?

STOP. I think this is getting too dramatic and too heavy. I don’t want to continue writing. I might divulge all the information and all my emotions…. All that I can say is that I really like this certain guy and he’s not that into me. 

What do I do? Cry? No. Time to face reality. I guess, I need to work so hard again to put myself back.

Love, now and always,

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Saturday, July 20, 2013

When we love

Love's greatest form is to sacrifice ones life for another. Like how Jesus died on the cross for us. But now, no one needs to get killed. Maybe, love is the greatest when one sacrifices, in any and even in the simplest forms of sacrifice.

When we love, we don't expect anything back. When one confesses love to the other person, it is almost always that the person who confessed, already accepted that it will never be a win-win situation. It will be one sided and unrequited but, way better, than love that is kept in the deepest unknown grounds of the heart.

That's the thing about love, you know what it really means only when you are loved back or when you accept that the person you chose among the billions in this universe will never be able to give back the love you are willing to spare.

When you accept that the person will be happier with someone else. 
When you think about their happiness more than your own.
And when you finally let things go but never forgetting how special it is to love. 

Love, now and always,

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And I guess I realized at that moment that I really did love HIM. 
Because there was nothing to gain, and that didn't matter...

Love, now and always,

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Sunday, July 14, 2013

The Dessert

I woke up in the middle of NOTHING. 
No trees, houses. 
No birds flying up the blue sky.

I looked above and I realized that what I'm seeing is not anything I've seen before... It's not the sky I've known that comes in all shades of blue. This one is like a blank vast space.
No star to conquer. No moon and sun chasing each other wishing to be together but never really meet.
Nothing. Empty.

And with nothing to see from the sky, I examined around, the only thing that differentiates this from the blank sky is that in the sky nothing is there but on the ground I am HERE.

I shouted all the words I know that means "anybody there?". Nothing. No echo. Nothing that assured me that something's or someone's there. 

I think I given up before I lost sanity.
I accepted what will never be there. No one will be here. I'm alone. It maybe nothing and it may feel so empty... But at the least, I should be happy I'M STILL HERE. 

Love, now and always,

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