Wednesday, November 30, 2011

He Will Find Me

This year's a battle of relationships. The post war of having a short-lived boyfriend after two years of being single made me come to know that true love isn't something to rush about. 

High School all started the rush and desire to be loved romantically. I don't know if you call it peer pressure or just to gain additional popularity back then but having a boyfriend at school elevates a social school status. Like you were once this all ace-with great school standing-good in English-won 1st place in the essay writing contest-straight A's in academics-invisible girl to instant popular celebrity. You are not just a GEEK anymore. Like you are a member of an extra cool KPOP girl band or the leader of every girls dream group, the mean girls. 

Thing is, back then, all that rush was to belong to the society, to be accepted more of what you are... to blend in. College isn't different either. School is hard so you needed someone to be there with you on your darkest-hardest days especially when your original home is kind of miles away. It was all fun, happy. There's someone there to support you. When you have problems, there's a helping hand and a shoulder to cry on. When your girlfriends bring their boyfriends, you belong. You are secured that when your Art’s Professor demands you to attend a play about love, there's a guy to tag along ALL THE TIME. 

As the years go by the pursuit of love and happiness continued. Loving, leaving, loving, leaving became a cycle. It's too spontaneous that I came to accept the fact that sometimes someone will hurt me and sometimes I will hurt someone else too. That I don't know what I'm looking for. That I feel magic in the first few months but after awhile I press shift+delete so that no memories will be traced even if you searched through deepest recycle bin of my heart. 

For the record it was love, true love, but not enough to be forever true. 

There are lucky people who realize forever after few glances. There are some who cross each others path, didn't notice but are really destined to be together to be given another chance. There are people who live and fight for love like Romeo and Juliet. You are very lucky when you only have one love in your life.... having two, three, four, five or more isn't a blessing... it's having a whole lot more of failed, devastating, sometimes life threatening relationships. It just piles up more heartache before the right one. 

If you experience love in every form, style, and dimension, it will be really hard. You turned yourself a master that in a glimpse, you know if it'll workout or if it'll not. You know who cheats and how to. You know when to leave but never know when you are about to be left behind. You know when your heart will end up into pieces, crashed or pulverized. 

What do you look forward to love now? Do you search for it or let it find you? Do you wish or dream that someday the right love will come? Do you wait? 

As for me, I really don't know. I always say to my "so worried friends" that if they end up alone, we can all live and grow old together. I tell them that the gift of not being married is having the great opportunity of having more time to spend with their parents. Taking care of them and returning their sacrifices. 

Single, alone and happy, not ever having to carry the cross of someone else. 

There are fairy tales in life: romantic, heroic, villain-eous, sacrificing, horrific, crazy. We all deserve to have one if we are very lucky and more, if we are not. 

And if God destined us to be not just someone but with THE ONE, if that day ever comes, we will forget how long we waited and start the rest of our lives in love that will forever be true. 

Love, now and always,
Mia always dreamt of becoming 5'8" or higher that goes with the reason why she wears higher platforms. She wears lighter makeup these days because her MAN is particular with INNER beauty. She's the same old shopaholic you now, splurging over stuffs that a part goes to charity. Today, she is not writing blogs and promos anymore. She ventured into marketing... selling souls to the devil. And oh wait, on her spare time, she writes short stories of love with tragic ending. Some of her published works are "Cries, Cameras and Actions", "8 folds", "The Boat", "All for Carlie", "Ragnarok Online Love Story" and "Resume of Lovers". 

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