Thursday, November 04, 2010

Through the heart of my Brother: Men’s way to recover from the heartbreak of a breakup

When my brother broke up with his very first girlfriend[for two years, take note they dated for almost a year before being official], I never thought that he would move on easily. After that bitch broke up with him, that bitch just jumped off and connected to a new boyfriend... like a connecting flight to Narita. Even worst, the bitch's new boyfriend is a friend of my brother that constantly cheats on him during prelim, midterm and final exams. 

After breakups, there is a three month rule that goes with it. It's an agreement where both parties can't jump to someone else right away. My brother's ex didn't follow the  three month rule. That's why I know it's very painful, suicidal and will take him ages to move on.

But his recovery was fast. Totally unbelievable. I know the support of our family, his friends and everyone who cares helped him. But, still, it's himself that helped and dragged him out in despair. 

What are his ways? His secrets? 

DAY 1: 

When the bitch already told him that she's already got a new boyfriend, my brother accepted it. He cried but he didn't beg the girl to stay nor told the girl to leave to the new one.... even if my brother feels his ex still loves him __%. 

After accepting it, he collected everything she gave him: gifts, letters, stuff toys, etc. and burned it. At first, I would rather want him to ask someone deliver it to the exes' doorstep or donate it to some orphanage. But I realized why should my brother give concern to her things. He also eliminated the ex in his life: deleting her in his contact, facebook, etc. He even changed his sim card. Out of sight, out of mind, as the saying goes. 

[Ignoring her won't hurt. There is a subliminal message behind ignoring the ex and it is I'm over you, and you hold no power over me.]

My brother was shocked at first so he didn't cry that much. But when it really came into his senses, he cried his heart out... no matter who is in front of him, no matter where place he is... that helped him and lighted his heart. 

DAY 2:
After crying, he got himself busy by talking to friends and family, side by side are beers and  cigarette sticks. Talking it out with people is good.. even with victims and other people with deep problems. It helps them let out the pain. The advices and care of family and friends also reminds that a lot of people loves him and a reminder that he is worthy as an individual. 

DAY 3:

Everyone already knows. He doesn't cry anymore. I know he still thinks about it but not in the emo way. I observed also that he develops new hobbies. He's been singing a lot, composing poems and songs and started learning guitar. 

He also started lessening the portions of his meals... I smell revenge. But let's just see it for health reasons. Some pounds lesser will totally be nice in his face.

DAY 4, 5, and so on...

After three days, I know there's still a button there that can turn on his EMO mode anytime... but I know it will be lighter.  

My brother is back on track after three days... Five days after, he is ready to love again. But wait... He is honoring the three months rule not like the B-I-T-C-H. 

No matter how much my brother want to court the girl--THE ONE he realized he loved and always love all these years, he is still honoring the three month rule.  Love takes time as he says... same rules, different lovers... BUT this time it's REAL.

So in simple words, Men recover from heartbreaks the time when their heart beats again.  

love, now and always, 

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