Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Wake Me Up When October Ends

Have you ever fell in love with someone that’s in love with someone else?
Well, If you are... just enjoy the love. If you've been there, don't you feel good that it's over?

From my Sassy Girl [English Adaptation]

Jordan's Letter to Charlie:

Dear Charlie,

Hi, how was your year? Charlie, I have some things to tell you. When we first met, I said my fiancée had broken up with me. That was a lie. Truth is he passed away. All he said in his note was that he was sorry, but that there was too much pain. I was devastated. I couldn’t accept it. You know, I began to drink, which, as you’ve seen, I’m not very good at. Oh, and I was frequently brought home by strangers in taxi cabs, and that’s why my father acted the way he did towards you. Honestly, if you ever get to know him, he’s a very nice man. I was very close to my fiancée’s mother. I tried to go see her a little while after he died. She said she had a great guy she wanted to introduce me to. I couldn’t bear the thought of it. And then I met you. You reminded me of him. You were both strong and kind and confident… in your own way. You even look like him. And there were many other parallels. They were small, but they seemed important. He and I met on a subway platform. Just as you and I met. Like you, he carried a handkerchief. I was very sick at the time and he took care of me… like you did. As you and I got to know each other, I felt the cloud begin to lift a little bit. I thought this was because of the similarities between you and him. And so I decided that you and I would do everything he and I had done. That way, it would be almost like he had never died and the pain would stop. Because on our 33rd day together, he brought a rose to my class, I asked you to do the same. Because he and I planned our future under this tree, I chose it for you and me as well. Because he and I had a favourite restaurant… I brought you there. And because he died in the ocean, I pushed you to go in… and then saved you. All of this was crazy and selfish and wrong, I know. But grief can make us crazy. Anyway, it didn’t work. And at a certain point, I realized I didn’t like you because you were like him. I liked you because I liked you. But every time I started to be happy, I would stop myself. It felt wrong to be happy. It felt wrong to let go, to just forget about him, even for just a minute. I felt like I was betraying him. All I could do was hurt you, and that’s not me, Charlie. That’s not me at all. And someday, I hope I can show you as much. Something had to be done. In order for us to have a chance in the future, I had to make a break with the past. And for this, I needed time. I hope I’ve healed during our year apart. And that I’m sitting with you while you read this. But if I’m not… It’s not because I don’t love you. Because I do. And it’s not because I don’t miss you. Because I miss you already. It’ll just mean that I’m not better. And that the story isn’t over yet. Will you wait for me Charlie? Can you wait? With all my heart, I hope you can.

Love, Jordan.
love, now and always,

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