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Will be spending more time with B…

August 30, 2010
Baby? Babe?

Nope… with BOOKS.

In one of my previous entry, I mentioned that as a Filipino citizen I dream to study in the University of the Philippines. Out of the hundreds, I think, that applied--I’m one of the 41 MDC students that passed.

Call me lucky? No. I worked on this to pass. I choose the best references for my application. I went through the essay I submitted a hundred times to achieve perfection. And as crazy as this may sound, I answered my application form like taking an UPCAT.

Here’s the e-mail I got:




Here’s the list of the passers:


I’m excited for grad school, especially now that it’s UP. I’ll study hard and live only to one goddamn motto: “KEEP MY EYE ON THE PRIZE.”

love, now and always,
 

Pagbabago

August 26, 2010
We rarely have cakes in celebrations, events and festivities when I was a kid. What we always have during special occasions are either: Goldilocks' Mamon or Ensaymada. It feels weird because, even during birthdays, they stuck the candle on top of the Mamon when we can all feast with a more glamorous sweet cake.



Like all kids, I desire the sweet taste of icing and sugar candy flowers on a birthday, anniversary, or whatever cake. But whenever I ask Mom to buy one, even the "cakes rolls" would do, she would always tell me that the Mamon and Ensaymada is just perfect for ALL of US.

We even came to an intense mom-daughter debate over it. But again and again she would just say, "the Mamon and Ensaymada is just perfect for ALL." However, whenever a celebration come, I would still ask her over and over to buy one.

When Mom finally lost her temper over me, she finally spilled the reason why we don't buy sweet cakes:

Mom: Your lolo can't eat cake.
Me: Why?
Mom: He has diabetes.
Me: And what is that?
Mom: In simple words... if he eats food with too much sugar, he would die.
Me: Really?
Mom: Yes.
Me: But how come when I ask him to finish the lolipop I don't like he eats it?
Mom: Because he loves you.

After Mom explained everything, I never demanded for a cake. When my Lolo died, cakes always graced every celebration.

Quite a big CHANGE for every celebration, not because there's a sweet cake for us to share, but because Lolo isn't a part of it anymore.

PS: If only sugar less and sugar free Goldilocks' products were invented back then, I could've shared a bite with my lolo.





love, now and always,
 

The Perfect World

August 26, 2010
What is a perfect world? If I’m not perfect, how would I know? BTW, what does perfect mean?

entirely without any flaws, defects, or shortcomings

in one word... God.



If there are no perfect people, how would I know a perfect world exist?




But there are people who they think themselves perfect. Yes perfect. I should ask them.


I wonder what they’ll say…

Perfect Man: A perfect world is a place where you live with the perfect woman at your side building and creating a perfect family.

Perfect Boss: A perfect world is a perfect workplace with a perfect team working together, with a perfect salary and perfect job.

Perfect Teacher: A perfect world is being able to give every student the education they need to live their life perfectly.

 Perfect Nun: A perfect world is a world of peace and love

Perfect Priest: A perfect world is a world without sin.

Perfect Her: It’s being able to find the perfect man

Perfect Him: It is loving the imperfect girl perfectly

Me: It’s never a perfect world without the person perfect for me.


The story that ended happily

August 09, 2010
Yesterday, I saw my ex- fiancé. Yes, the one that I planned my whole life with two years ago.

To be exact, we broke up January 31, 2008. It was a really bad breakup. I have to say that if our story was a movie—it would win all possible dramatic awards and of course, I’d be the best actress of all time.

If I remembered it correctly, I cried every single day after we broke up and I only stopped in the middle of March. When I say every single day, I really mean everyday... Not a day would pass without weeping over him. Here’s a trivial: I used to have this film canister where I store all my tears for him and wish that by the time I already filled the canister, I’m done crying. But halfway full the canister, I stopped. Thank God.

I remember writing a future letter to him @ futureme.org that will be sent 5 years from the date of our break up. The letter wasn’t anything cheesy. It was actually telling him to look for me and to be friends with me after all. But only 2 years passed and we are ok.

I’m even glad now that I experienced that kind of pain.

So… I saw my ex fiancĂ©. I thought it would still hurt or it would like strum a string in my heart but it did not. I have finally moved on. I am finally free.

We had a lil catching up. He asked a lot of things about me and I answered all of it.

Perhaps, he was worried. Maybe, he still feels guilty about the break up.

Here are our random chat:

Your hair’s still long…
If you only knew I cut it really short.

You still write…
Yes and this is serious writing. I bid freelance goodbye.

You wear higher heels now…
That makes me taller than you. c",)

You have a boyfriend…
I don’t but there’s someone that’s trying to change my status.

I didn’t ask too much about him. All I asked was how’s he doing and how his parents are and I'm grateful they are all okay. I didn’t bother to ask a lot of things: One, I’m not interested and two, I don’t want to send a wrong signal.

Really, time heals all wounds. Two years ago isn’t a very long time and I’m healed. Your heart might be breaking right now, but always see the little light that shines around you.

Hold on tight, it will be one hell of a journey. There will be a lot of pain, crying, heartaches, learnings….

Remember to never give up because the story isn’t over yet.

And if you ever feel like giving up... just think about this...

Don’t you want to see your story ending happily?

love, now and always,



 
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