Monday, June 29, 2009

All About Me...

The truth is… I, myself is still knowing things about me. Everyday, I discover things that complete and destroy me. Like what makes me happy, what makes me cry, what I can do, what I can never do, what I choose not to do, and so on. 

So this “about me” would be like a season, ever changing from time to time… I would like boy bands now but will forever feel for Beatles.
I love myself. Who wouldn’t be?

My parents gave me a beautiful name (if you know then lucky you do) but I would prefer if you call me Mia. We are not in grade school anymore, so damn please call me in the name that would beat sweet to my heart. 

I’m 22 years old. I’m a writer, but always dreamed of being a doctor (I always ask myself, “how come I am not one?”). 

It would be fair if you won’t call me Ate, Miss, Ma’am, Madam or anything older than my name for I believe some souls are way older than the others. Your soul would age older than mine, wisdom don’t always comes with age… you might be a 3-yrs-old genius. 

I don’t know the things you might hate about me. When you are mad, tell me. I’m quite insensitive but I am TOO sensitive as well. If I talk too much, stop me. When you’re not sure about what I say, ask me and I’ll whole-heartedly repeat it. When I cry, don’t wipe my tears away, cry with me as the way you would laugh when I laugh, as the way you would fall down when I fall. When I sprain my ankle, bring me to the hospital, but allow me to drive the car. Don’t make me feel like a handicapped/disabled, I have a lot of use. I have a lot of worth. Use me, I’m worth it.

Tell me your dreams and we’ll dream together. We’ll do things together, we’ll do better. Be the spoon, I’ll be the fork. Be the bee, I’ll be the hive. Be the saint, I’ll be the sinner. But if somehow you’ll never be a saint, then I’ll sin with you. 

I’m human. I don’t read minds. I break rules. I start wars, fires that damage eternity. Bear with me… especially, in time when I don’t understand myself. I wouldn’t look in your eyes when I’m sorry, I wouldn’t show I’m sincere… but it’s locked down my heart begging for forgiveness. 

I seem to kill you but discover that something in me dies gently as well. I try to be the boss but deep down I’m slaved. When I try to control you, it doesn’t mean I’m superior… I’m controlled as well. I try to be old, but, of course, I still am a child.

If you love me, tell me. Nothing beats it. I’ll stay when you go. If you go and you wanted me to wait for you, tell me. I’m sure it’s worth the wait, once your back. If I’ll go, don’t follow and search for me. Find love and be in love. If I realize that it’s wrong leaving you, I’ll find my way back. I’ll do everything under my power to have you back. If its never-not worth IT, never risk another chance, move on… let go… give up. 

This is how I live my life. I’m not perfect. I bring accidents, bad lucks, and fire. But I hope, at some point these imperfections are perfect for you. Owell, then, after all the tragedies of life… we still MATCH. You are the one for me, as God had destined me to be with you.

love, now and always,


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